Let’s play a game. A multiple-choice question, like we’re on ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’. Okay, it won’t be the million-dollar question, but it’s not the first €100 one either. If you ask me, it’s closer to the million because it’s a trick question. And the trap it uses is irony — the kind that overflows in a drama queen situation, as someone born in Britain might say. So, here’s the question: Who wrote the book ‘The Diary of a Prisoner’? A) Rochamis B) The Lifelong Prisoner by Arkas C) The protagonist in Prison Break D) Nicolas Sarkozy And I know that if my already ironic and sarcastic tone didn’t tip you off, you might have struggled. However, the correct answer — fortunately for those of us who need a little smile — is Nicolas Sarkozy. The former French president, who was tried and sentenced to five years in prison for threats against judges, illegal dealings with the Libyan state, and illegal campaign financing from Muammar Gaddafi in 2007… went to jail. Finally, justice did its duty. Or not. He went in to serve his five-year sentence but ended up staying just under three weeks before being placed under house arrest until his appeal hearing in March ’26. An unfair and unfortunate fate. Not even Count Monte Cristo endured such hardship. Our Nicolas, who didn’t declare himself a ‘martyr of the nation’, not only didn’t keep quiet to enjoy this scandalous advantage offered by his position and power but also decided to write a book about his prison adventure. Which, if it were proportional to his experience, should have been an A4 sheet at most. If you’re as verbose as I am, it might be as long as an airplane’s first aid manual — complete with pictures showing emergency exits. What ‘Diary of a Prisoner’, poor guy, when you went in and before you could introduce yourself to all the correctional officers so you could call them by name every time you wanted a glass of Romanée-Conti Grand Cru, you were out. And when we say ‘went to jail’, don’t imagine a cell like Stallone’s in Lock Up or that of Arkas’ Lifelong Prisoner. We’re talking about a specially designed room befitting a former president. Because justice — and not only in France — is not just blind but also shamelessly provocative. So Nicolas the martyr writes in his book, which will be released in early December: ‘In prison, there’s nothing to see and nothing to do. I forget the silence that doesn’t exist in Santé prison, where you hear a lot. The noise is unfortunately constant. Just like in the desert, so too does one’s inner life strengthen in prison.’ And you read this and think: What Guantanamo and what Siberian gulags? Here we’re talking about someone who must have been on the Midnight Express and Green Mile together. Maybe even two Green Miles more. In a video conference he participated in from prison for his release application, he described his stay at Santé as ‘very harsh’ and ‘exhausting’, calling his experience a ‘nightmare’. Reminder: from within a cell five times larger than other inmates’ with amenities and supplies others enjoy by trading cigarettes or offering other services — or at least that’s how Hollywood has taught us prison transactions work. So ‘The Diary of a Prisoner’ will be Nicolas Sarkozy’s book. And I hold out one last hope that it will be released with blank pages, finally giving true meaning to its title concerning him and offering us a reason to appreciate him slightly. Even if it’s for his humor.
Nicolas Sarkozy’s Brief Prison Stint Sparks New Book
