In the hustle and bustle of the day, amidst the panic to manage everything, there comes a moment—a magical one might say—when we as parents enter the house to ‘relax’.
Although we all close the door of our home thinking we will ‘breathe’, instead the usual tasks begin… household chores, preparing baths, meals, and bedtime. Calls we didn’t manage during the day, work and computer tasks, and other similar duties. Amidst all this, we stubbornly hear ‘mom, dad come play with me’, ‘come see what I made’, ‘I need help’, and many more similar requests.
As in every corner of the earth, so in Cyprus; the same scene repeats. Our child desperately seeks our attention, and we, exhausted and mechanically, respond: ‘I’ll be right there’. Indeed, isn’t our response often a phrase that is not kept? Truly, how many times as parents have we said ‘I’ll be right there’, but didn’t mean it because other things at home took precedence? The answer, although somewhat disappointing, is this: ‘many times—perhaps more than we’d like to admit.’
What drives us not to keep our promise on time or at all?
It is a fact that time pressure is perhaps the most fundamental characteristic of today’s family structures. Stress, technology, digital distractions one might say, work obligations, and all these ‘musts’ lead many parents to small postponements and ‘cancellations’, which are often deferred to the next day, again and again.
What can we do?
Initially, it would be good to try to develop communication between us and our child. For example, instead of saying ‘in a bit’, let’s calculate exactly how much time we need to complete our obligation and respond honestly to our child.
During the day, there could also be repetitive activities and routines offering our child a sense of security.
The above ideas are based on information provided by CSEFEL and AAP. Specifically, the academic organization Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL), which studies the importance of emotional security and predictability for children, emphasizes in its informational brochures that ‘predictable and stable routines help children feel safe, understand what is expected of them, and reduce behavioral problems.’ It is also noted that ‘schedules and routines help children understand environmental expectations and reduce the frequency of behavioral issues such as tantrums and aggressive acts.’
According to experts from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), it is confirmed that stable routines in children’s lives reduce anxiety and help them regulate emotions and behavior.
Then, although it sounds somewhat difficult, the next step can be achieved with some effort. Upon entering the home, it would be good at some point to deactivate mobile phones and remove computers to spend quality time with our child with dedication.
In an era where time is literally a tyrant, responding to our child’s needs is indeed a very difficult task. Nevertheless, we need to keep in mind that succeeding in saying ‘I’ll be right there’ is not a ‘distant dream’. Let’s start our effort today.
Truly, have you ever thought if ‘in a bit’ becomes more genuine, how different our day would be?
Written by Christina Georgiou
