Wolfgang Goethe, a German poet and philosopher, once said that “children should receive two things from their parents: roots and wings.”
One of the simplest ways to give them both is by saying “I love you.” This phrase offers the “roots” of safety and acceptance, along with the “wings” of confidence. It allows a child to explore, dream, and truly be themselves.
The phrase “I love you” is more than just words; it builds a strong base for our child’s healthy growth. Studies in classic developmental psychology, like Gottman, J.’s book “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child” (1997), show that verbal recognition and affirmation—like “I love you,” “I am here for you”—help kids develop emotional intelligence and resilience.
Mary D. Salter Ainsworth, Mary C. Blehar, Everett Waters, and Sally N. Wall in their book “Patterns of Attachment” (1978), found that kids with a “secure attachment” have parents who show affection, warmth, and verbal support. These kids usually have better emotional control and more self-confidence.
Why is it important to tell children “I love you”?
What do general developmental psychology studies, based on established principles of child development and parenting, highlight?
The phrase “I love you”…
Reduces anxiety and insecurity
In tough times or changes, “I love you” feels like a warm hug that keeps the child emotionally safe.
Teaches emotional expression
Kids learn by watching. When parents express their love often, children follow this example in their own relationships.
Strengthens the parent-child bond
Saying affirming words builds trust, increases closeness, and opens up paths for real communication.
Creates a sense of security
Kiddos need to know that their parents’ love isn’t based on what they do or don’t do. A simple “I love you” reassures them they have a steady support system.
Boosts self-esteem
When children hear they are loved, they learn they are valuable just as they are. This helps them form a positive self-image that lasts into adulthood.
The phrase “I love you” may seem small to some, but its impact is huge. It’s an easy daily way to strengthen our bond with our child and show them that no matter what happens, they always have someone by their side. In short, expressed love is never too much; it’s a constant support for the child.
Written by Christina Georgiou
